The Smoke Eater Face
What better hero to emulate for your face than one of the thousands that put out fires around the world. It’s a face that inspired a World Hockey Championship team in the small town of Trail, British Columbia. It’s a face that also fooled us into thinking that Billy Baldwin was a legitimate actor.
The Billy Idol Face
William Michael Albert Broad was born in Middlesex, England and went on to be part of many punk projects that arose in the late 70’s. He didn’t achieve major notoriety until he left the UK punk scene, and went to the US to fly solo. Use him as inspiration because a unique face is a little like a rebel yell. It’s just you and the camera, so show it how to be a lover, how you like dancing with yourself, or maybe even show it your eyes without a face.
The “Say My Name” Face
The most powerful people in the world actually don’t have to work that hard when they want to display a powerful face. When you’re a Childlike Empress, all you need is a subtle plead for someone to say your name, and you can save the kingdom from “The Nothing” in this never ending story we call life.
The Gift Giving Face
Ancient Romans held year end celebrations to honor Saturn, their harvest god; and Mithras, the god of light. As part of these celebrations, the people prepared special foods, decorated their homes with greenery, and joined in singing and gift giving. These customs gradually became part of gift giving.
This holiday season take part in the ancient tradition, and surprise someone by giving them the gift of your face.
The Passive Fuck You Face
Don’t want to have your picture taken? We got that face!
A popular face for quiet douchebags, misogynists, or people that just like to piss off the deaf.
The Movember Face AKA The “Look Like Your Dad” Face
For a young boy there will come a time when they look at their face, and suddenly they can see for the first time a hint of manhood seeping through pores. Why not recreate that experience that your mother had with your father when she first laid eyes on that fur monster wrapping his upper lip? It’s a face that commands authority. It’s a face that will bring ladies closer. It’s a face that says: “If I can grow hair up here, where else do you think hair is growing?”
The “Oh Crap, This Guy Is Actually Going to Stage Dive” Face
There’s always that one guy. The one guy that no matter how small the stage is, no matter how little people there are in the crowd, there’s always that one guy that feels the need to hurl his body on top of your head. If you’re not feeling up to using this face you can always use the tried and true technique of having everyone take two steps to the left or right before he falls.
The Nose Pick Face
“Man enjoys living on the edge of his dreams and neglects the real things of the world which are so beautiful. The ignorant and indifferent destroy beautiful things merely by looking at (Things that) remake the soul of him who understands them.” - Auguste Rodin
It was obvious that Rodin also understood the Nose Pick Face.
The “Is That All There Is?” Face
The pain of our existence is growing old to discover that the universe is not as wondrous as you thought when you were young, knowing that you will be stuck on this humdrum planet that is led by misguided idiots. Fear not though, as with this face you don’t have to look all brooding in photographs, and heed the words that Peggy Lee sang:
“ If that’s all there is my friends, then let’s keep dancing. Let’s break out the booze and have a ball. If that’s all there is.”
